I know that often my journal entries are based around relationships whether it's friendship or more. But I feel as though I can write about relationships often and not feel as if I'm exhausting the topic, simply because every single day, every single person on this planet is building relationships. These relationships could simply be from the ground up, meeting new people, acquaintances, if you will. They could be building onto a prior acquaintance-ship into a friendship, they could even be building onto a friendship to something that is buried deeper into the ground, taking complete root and flowering. Then of course there's the ever present marital status, relationship status, the boyfriend girlfriend whatever whatever scenario. Every single day, every single second people are making connections.

Some people simply don't even know what the difference is between an acquaintance and a friend, I'll give it to you in the easiest way possible, an acquaintance is someone you know by sight, but you don't necessarily have any type of 'intimate' relationship with them, a friend would be the next step up, usually this is someone you generally give a shit about at least a little bit. It's sort of funny, friendship, the things that bring people together, the teeny tiny things that establish some sort of common ground between people that manage to let something completely awesome blossom out of say, a common interest in cheese danish from Panera bread. Am I speaking too plainly here? Bottom line is, relationships never start off all that complicated, we as human beings are the ones that bite the proverbial apple and screw it all up. I'm going to speak here about what I know best and that's myself, the rest of this isn't going to be from some psychology book or some crap I googled, it's all personal experience and if you don't give a crap then that's fine, you can take yourself to the red box on the left if you're on a mac or the red box on the right if you're on a PC.

If you know anything about me at all, even as an acquaintance then you know that I am one of those people that will literally talk to anyone about probably anything. I have this kind of bad habit with oversharing and if you've ever talked to me before I'm about 87% sure that I've probably overshared with you in some sense. I guess that's my natural way of filtering out the riff raff from the get go, so to speak. I talk a lot and if you seriously can't handle it, then that's fine, I'm not everyone's cuppa and I don't expect everyone to love me. I think for me, what everything comes down to is honesty. I like to think of myself as a very open and honest person and as of late, I've gotten even more so. I'm not afraid anymore in anyway, shape or form to state my opinion. If you're doing something I don't like, it's likely that I'll let you know. I guess that's what happens when you start to grow up, right? I'm a fan of active conversation, I mean, who isn't, right? You'd think that as people, we're generally wired to communicate with others, but some people honestly aren't. An active conversation isn't necessarily measured by equal give and take or by matching character limits, To me, it's common sense, question and answer, statement and repercussion, When a relationship is mostly played out via the internet or via text, how is it that you can relay emotions? It's not hard, but if I'm explaining something to you, or telling you something I'm excited about then how am I supposed to know you're listening if your responses are never more than a simple 'oh' or 'ok' or 'cool' have some emotion in what you say or just don't I bother. If I care about you enough to tell you something slightly intimate about my life, it means I value your input and your opinion, and if you say you do, then at least give me a worthy response. Let me know you're listening, people!

When it comes to best friendships, we're already way past the honesty issue, I've probably told you about more than you honestly care to know, but for some reason you still don't really mind and in fact, you've probably told me some pretty unscrupulous things yourself and you know what? I probably love you for it. I love a good set of cajones if you know what I mean. We come to each other for advice, or even just an ear or someone to confirm that you in fact aren't crazy, at least in the general sense. I talk you listen, you talk I listen, it's great, this thing we have, right? But what happens when shit goes down the tubes sometimes? Do you back off and get downgraded? Well, if you wanna put it that way, sure, but most anyone that even gets to this 'level' of friendship with me knows better. If you just pull away, nothing is going to get better, if it's on my end, it's generally better to say something about it, because if you wait for me to notice, sometimes it's a bit too late. If it's something that bothers me on your end? You'll likely know very quickly. I think with any relationship, constructive 'fighting' is good. If you just end up shouting at each other then no ones point gets across and you end up saying things that you honestly don't mean and it just makes everything about a million times worse. Instead, just talk like you always do, talk about the issue at hand versus your own individual problems. You might think that's just stuff for you and your significant other but let me tell you, it works when you're just friends too.

I know this is super long, but I have to go with it when I feel it and something just inspired me tonight. I've learned that in life without risk there is no gain and without hard work there are no results. Life is beautiful if you let it be. Take what you will from this, but I hope that it could maybe inspire someone to open up their own mind, heart or life to start something new or build on something already existing. I'm not perfect, no one is, but that's life and I love every single drop of it.

I hate making up titles.

I feel as if I should post something on my blog since I haven't done that really. I honestly don't even know if anyone reads this anyway, but let's see.

I'm moving soon, I still don't know the date, but we're hoping sooner rather than later. I'd love to be settled before Christmas so I can spend Christmas with family that gives a shit. Lisa put it as "There's a difference between giving and giving a shit." which I thought was very well said. There are just some things about my family that I absolutely cannot stand. I'd just like to put it out there that no matter what it looks like on the outside looking in, we are probably one of the most dysfunctional families ever. I'm not looking for sympathy, everyone's family is screwed up, but the fact that our family is supposed to be based on "Christian Values" and we supposedly have so many strong traditions and all of that nonsense, just kinda makes it worse. I'm a Christian and I believe that there is only one person that has the ability to judge and condemn and his name is God. I believe that we're supposed to strive to be our best, to be 'like Jesus' and be accepting and loving towards one another just as he did. Jesus did not discriminate between people because of their job, because of the way they lived their lives, he just told them the good word and it was their choice whether or not to believe. He loved everyone and he sacrificed everything for the salvation of sinners, what would some of my family sacrifice for me? What would some of them sacrifice for certain other members? There are some in which they would more easily sacrifice more. There are some members of my family that I honestly wouldn't sacrifice much for, but then there are some that I would sacrifice anything and everything in the blink of an eye to save them. I don't know what it is that bonds certain people together, but I'm thankful for it. I'm very thankful for the people that I have in my life right now. I've done a lot of 'friend deleting' lately, removing stuff from my life that just isn't worth it anymore. I've done away with quite a few old, dying friendships and relationships that I kept around for nostalgia's sake and while I was kinda friendless for a while, I've made new ones and it's given me the ability to really let go of the old (aka NJ) and move onto the new (aka TX) and feel confident that I can do it.

On a lighter note, while talking with Paula, I realized why I haven't done much work on Catiebug's scarf, I'm using my bamboo needles and I don't like them. I mean, the weight of them rocks, they're so light, but it gives me that tingly feeling down my spine when I use them, almost as if someone was raking their nails down a chalkboard, and that feeling is the suck. I think I'm going to have to buy a set of metal needles in the same size in order to really finish this scarf by Christmas. I think she'll love it, it's purple and soft and those are pretty much the only requirements said 3 year old seems to have for anything to be worthy of use.

I'm almost finished with my basket weave scarf. I think I want to make this one kind of long. I haven't decided how I'm going to finish it, I might just leave it boxy. I don't know. I used red heart yarn for it, which when I wrap it around me to test it is kinda scratchy, I hope that when I wash it, it'll be less scratchy.

Steven wants a beanie, a charcoal beanie to be exact. He doesn't want black and he doesn't want blue, he wants charcoal, so I need to find some charcoal colored yarn. Maybe wool. I don't know. I should probably find a pattern and figure out how the heck to make a hat to start with. So far I've only knitted squares and rectangles, I think it's time for something new. I've tackled following a pattern....soooo.

I'm thinking of trying to learn how to do cable-y stuff. I have the pink yarn from the ugly scarf that I ripped out that will be good for playing. I must search the internet for guidance...off to do that, I've wasted enough of your time.

JL

Stolen from Paula

I'm going to post this as well, let's see how much I've read. I honestly don't think it' going to be that many. I wish that I was more of a reader!

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

I read 14 of these! It's better than I thought. I was surprised that The Scarlett Letter wasn't on this list!

Instructions:
Look at the list and put an ‘x’ after those you have read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ( )
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien ( )
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte ( )
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (x)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (x)
6 The Bible - (x)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte ( )
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (x)
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ()
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens ()
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott ()
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy ()
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller ( )
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare ()
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier ()
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien ()
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk ()
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (x)
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger ()
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot ( )
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell ()
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (x)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens ()
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy ()
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams ()
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh ()
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky ()
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck ()
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll ()
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame ()
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy ()
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens ()
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis ()
34 Emma - Jane Austen ()
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen ()
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis ()
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - ()
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres ()
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (x)
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (x)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell ()
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (x)
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ()
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving ()
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins ()
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (x)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy ()
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood ()
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (x)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan ()
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel ()
52 Dune - Frank Herbert ()
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons ()
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen ()
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth ()
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon ()
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens ()
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (x)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon ()
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ()
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck ()
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov ()
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt ()
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold ()
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas ()
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac ()
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy ()
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding ()
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie ()
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville ()
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens ()
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (x)
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (x)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson ()
75 Ulysses - James Joyce ()
76 The Inferno - Dante ()
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome ()
78 Germinal - Emile Zola ()
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray ()
80 Possession - AS Byatt ()
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (x)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell ()
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker ()
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro ()
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert ()
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry ()
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (x)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ()
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ()
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton ()
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad ()
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery ()
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks ()
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams ()
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole ()
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute ()
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas ()
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (x)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl ()
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo ()